Snake Gets Drunk!
by SamandMax
Summary: Ever wonder what it would look like if Snake got drunk? Well, I haven't but I bet it would look something like this


Snake gets Drunk  
  
  
"Hey Snake."  
  
"What you looking at. I didn't take the...hi."  
  
"How much have you drank already?"  
  
"Let's see. Eight...times four...denominator 3....ninteen bottles."  
  
"Nineteen bottles? Do you know how bad that is for your liver."  
  
"Leave my liver out of this. I can kill it if I want it. Bartender, another two beers over here."  
  
"You only have to get one, I don't want one."  
  
"I'm not getting you anything, both bottles are for me. Hey, I bet you I can make vomit come out of my ears. I did it once before."  
  
"That was blood that came out of your ears because you got drunk and walked into the wall."  
  
"Same thing. Ok, here I go."  
  
"Snake, you're drinking the ashtray."  
  
"Oh. Hahahaha, now I have the bottle."  
  
"No, you're drinking out of the ashtray again."  
  
"I was wondering why the beer tasted like cigarettes. Ok, here I go."  
  
"So now you've drank twenty bottles, good for you. I think it's time to call it quits."  
  
"Hey, you can't tell me what to do. I'm the boss of me. Only I can boss me around. Me, I order myself to drink another beer. I don't know me, I think I've drank enough. Shut up me, keep drinking."  
  
"Uhhh...Snake, you're talking to yourself."  
  
"And so I said to him, eat that cake! Hahaha, you're so funny me."  
  
"Snake, shut up already."  
  
"Well sorry, hey where did that guy I was talking to go?"  
  
"You were talking to yourself Snake."  
  
"Oh. No wonder he didn't run away when he saw my face. Hahahaha."  
  
"Snake, I'm driving you home right now."  
  
"Relax, I can drive myself home."  
  
"Ok then. What kind of your car do you drive."  
  
"Umm....a blue car."  
  
"It's red Snake."  
  
"Hahaha...red is funny."  
  
"Snake, I'll call the police if you don't let me drive you home."  
  
"Hehehe...red."  
  
"Stop Snake. Red isn't a funny word."  
  
"Now you're calling me a liar. I'll liar you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hey, stop calling me a liar."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Wanna see me dance. I can do a good jig."  
  
"No. I don't."  
  
"Look at me dance, I'm a leprechaun. Where's me gold."  
  
"Snake, shut up."  
  
"Hey, I'm a Leprechaun. Lerpreachauns have evil powers, I can set you on fire with magic....or with a lighter."  
  
"Snake, I'm actually fearing for your mental state right now."  
  
"Hey, no one talks back to the leprechaun. Get him now my followers."  
  
"What followers?"  
  
"Aren't there a bunch of Ghoulies around me?"  
  
"No. And never mention Ghoulies again, their just a cheap rip off of the Gremlins."  
  
"Ahhh, Gremlins. Hide me!"  
  
"Snake, Gremlins aren't real."  
  
"Yeah, that's what that one guy said and then wham, a gremlin ate his face off."  
  
"No one gets their face eaten off in the movie Snake."  
  
"Oh right. I dreamt it. Scary dream."  
  
"Snake, I really think you should stop drinking right now."  
  
"Or else what? You're going to call the police. Oh, I am so scared of the police."  
  
"No, I won't call the police. But I will call the one man that can get you to stop drinking- Colonel. Maybe I'll call him over....and make him have a few drinks!!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!! Not the Colonel, he starts peeing everywhere when he had too many drinks."  
  
"Then you'd better let me drive you home."  
  
"Ok....let me just have a few more drinks for the ride home...Bartender, eight bottles over here."  
  
"Snake, no more beer."  
  
"Ok, no beer. How about some rum."  
  
"No."  
  
"Bourbon?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Scotch?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Milk?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Can I put some vodka in the milk?"  
  
"No Snake, let's just go."  
  
"Alright.....Bartender, quietly sneak me that bottle of beer over there."  
  
"I heard that Snake."  
  
"Ok ok, I'm coming."  
  
"Put back those bottles."  
  
"...ok."  
  
"And that one under your hat."  
  
"Can't I just have one."  
  
"And get rid of that one in your shoe."  
  
"Alright already, I'm done drinking. Now if you'll execuse, I have a date to pass out on the floor."  
  
"Bartender, better get a pillow. He won't be getting up for awhile." 


End file.
